asking why

Posted by mimi on October 05, 19100 at 15:43:23:

In Reply to: Resistence to practice posted by velique on October 02, 19100 at 20:31:16:

: Dear Friends,

: I am having a struggle that I thought someone might be able to shed some light on. This may go on a bit...bear with me!

: I recently committed to doing more chi lel. At the same time I read the description of lcupcd in Dr. Pang's book. That deepened my practice to the point where it was almost not even the same form. (I had learned from the video and never used the audios.)

: The first few days of doing if according to Dr. Pang's directions (the details being in the visualization) I had such wonderful and deep chi experiences. The third day I had a chi reaction that sent be staggering to bed. I know it was a chi reaction...I felt the chi "hit" the problem.

: Now, all this seems good, yes? But I am finding it harder and harder to "make" myself do the practice. It was easier when it was more superfical. I struggle with myself every day. In fact, the struggle itself is exhausting.

: I feel I am at a pivotal point, and I don't understand the resistence. This seems like what i have wanted for so long...this deep experience. Am I afraid of going through the reactions? Am I afraid of getting well? Am I just lazy?

: I feel this is something deep...but I don't know how to access it.

: Thanks for listening! Any ideas welcomed.

: ~^^V^^~
Hi Velique,
I have a Carolyn Myss tape (do you know who she is?) and she says a prayer on the tape that allows us to not ask why. That probably sounds contrary to what most of us believe - that we have to figure out why something is happening on the deepest level, before we can overcome it. But I have a feeling that your resistence is something that you may not really figure out until after the fact, that the answer may be to just do it anyway, alongside your resistence. It is hard sometimes to do this, the mental energy it takes to maintain the visualizations without getting distracted, the tired arms, etc. etc. Resistence makes sense, but just tell it to go sit in a chair and watch you practice. (if that's possible.) Love, Mimi

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